Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
