I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
