my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
