That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
