you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize