It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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