She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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