Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hippo gnu deer
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
