my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
