i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
