I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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