woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he's gonorrhea incarnate
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
