We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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