My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We're too hungover to prance.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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