Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
