that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
