we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just had sex on a roof
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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