And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
