alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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