i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
