Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
