Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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