If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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