i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she pinky promised me she was 18
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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