i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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