I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
