I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
