She even gives head with a lisp.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
