So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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