Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
