i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
