i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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