Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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