Don't you send me to vm
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
