Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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