That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize