Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
