Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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