I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
