There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
