Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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