No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't deserve a penis
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
