i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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