Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
