ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
