After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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