I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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