Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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