Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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