Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
