I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
