What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
