I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
