its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
