If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
