I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
