Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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