I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
