We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
