just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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