she smelled like a LAN party
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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