this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
