You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
