so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
